Another Witchy’s story!!  |
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Listen to Witchy's story!
"This is the description of my teacher’ s
life:
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The
truth is that teachers today are expected to fulfill so many roles,
and the least important of them
actually seems to be teaching! If they
let us do only
our teaching job perhaps we would feel better but they don’t.
We must be not only teachers but also computer experts,
psychologists,
film directors, entertainers, etc. etc. the list of our skills is long.
These were just my thoughts when I happened
to look out of the window and get a glimpse of the Farmer walking
down the
lane
with Pompeus.
Did I forget to tell
you about Pompeus? Yes!? Well, he’s the Physical Education
teacher of the Magic Forest School and also my favourite colleague
because he
is always positive, energetic and healthy. In other words he looks
very handsome
and macho. I made myself almost invisible to overhear their *vaguely
Shakespearian* conversation".
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Farmer: “Dear
Pompeus, how can you be in such a good shape? I feel a pain in my back,
my hair is thinning… well… hairs have started a
sort of back count… 15… 14… 13… and, also,
I look very pale. What is the secret of your splendid form?”
Pompeus: “I do a lot of… ahemmmm… physical
exercise… YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?”
Farmer: “Alas, my good Pompeus! I’m
too stressed even for THAT… I’ve lost all my stamina. I
think the tension involving in running the Magic Forest School is too
much for me!”
Pompeus: “Don’t say that! You
need a bit of my secret sorcery. Come to my cottage at a quarter to
midnight!”
Farmer: “Promised!” |
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"Could a witch not hide herself
under Pompeus’s cottage window sill to find out what sort
of black magic they were going to conjure up? Of course not! So
at a quarter
to midnight I was kneeling under Pompeus’s cottage window
sill. The trouble is that I suffer from dust allergy (also this
one is a
symptom of stress) and, being Pompeus a bachelor, on his window
sill there were not only thick layers of dust but also spider webs
and cockroaches.
In other words, the house looked filthy even from outside but this
was not the problem since my stomach is strong; the problem was
that
very soon,
because of allergy, I felt an irresistible need of sneezing.
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My sneezes are famous
all over the Magic Forest; the Farmer has reckoned that the air
travels out
of my lungs at the speed of 345 km/hour! It was so that my presence
did not remain undiscovered…"
Farmer: “I knew that silly
Hazel was somewhere watching what we’re doing! Come in Witchy!
Don’t worry! We’re up to nothing which can’t be seen… and
what Pompeus does may be useful also for you because recently you’ve
looked a bit burnout too”.
"A lady can’t
refuse such a courteous invitation so I entered and saw Pompeus
performing an acrobatic exercise with his left hand touching his
right ankle
right below his neck while his back outlined an elegant arch.
Then he did the same backbreaking movement with the opposite hand and
ankle".
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Hazel: “If
I do the same I will die! And I challenge all the actors of the CSI
series to guess why I committed suicide in such a psychotic
perverse way!”
Pompeus: “It’s not
important to do this exercise the way I do it myself. Brain Gym movements
are very simple and can be done by everybody at any age, even at yours!”
Hazel: “Thank
you but I’m
only one-hundred-fifty-three years old and thanks to my magic charms
I have preserved all my juvenile features. If it weren’t for
this terrible pain in my back… “
Pompeus: “Ok! Look at what
I do and do the same to relieve the stress deriving from our highly
risky and debilitating work”. |
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Dear Magic Forest
villagers! These
are the photos of myself while doing some of the most popular and effective
26 movements which compose Brain Gym. Who said BG is
only for students? It can be useful for all people especially
us teachers. After showing you the exercises I will give you some
more tips
about how to manage stress effectively.
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Lazy eight's - Start at the midpoint of an imaginary figure eight
at eye level
- start with your left hand
- keep your arm straight
- draw the figure in the air with the point of the
finger
- do it five times
- Now switch to your right
- Do it five times
- Repeat the whole process three
times.
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Cross crawls
- Stand
- raise your left knee
- gently pat it with your right hand
- lower your left leg and right arm
- raise your right leg
- gently pat it with your left hand
- lower your right leg and left arm
- repeat the whole process for as long
as you like
- do it SLOWLY!!!
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Hook ups - Stand or sit
- cross the right leg over the left at the ankles
- take your right wrist
and cross it over the left wrist and link up the fingers so that the
right wrist is on top
- bend the elbows out and gently turn the fingers
in towards the body until they rest on the sternum (breast bone) in
the center
of the chest
- stay
in this position
- keep the ankles crossed and the wrists crossed
and then breathe evenly in this position for a few minutes
- you will
be noticeably
calmer
after that time.
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Some more tips!!!
1st tip:
Take a magazine and cut out a photo of the trendiest couple of the
moment: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Divide it into two parts.
I don’t know which side
your preferences go to, however... you
have to stick the half of the photo you like best on the cover of your teacher’s
register, of course not on the external face. Whenever your students start
getting on your nerves (WHY?
THEY ARE SOOOO SWEEET! ;-)) give them a new
assignment and gaze at your favourite *half* while faking a sudden need to
update the register.
2nd tip:
Have you got a meeting with your students’ parents to discuss their achievements/failures
and troubled personalities? Don’t worry! Get a tape recorder and record
your most memorable speech: “The boy/girl is very lively and sometimes
restless but always well-mannered. He/she is very smart but doesn’t study
enough. He/she should work harder to achieve the required competences”.
After
all,
it
is
just
what
you
say
to
99%
of
students’ parents!!! Turn your tape recorder
on
as the first parent comes
in and let it speak for
yourself while moving your lips silently. Then rewind the tape, wait for next
parent and repeat the aforesaid process over and over again.
3rd tip:
Leave everything at school; I mean: tests, textbooks, registers, and,
last but
not the least PROBLEMS!!!
I
promise to come back soon in a few days with more exciting and effective
tips on how to manage teaching burnout syndrome. While waiting
for
them
enjoy yourself during your scanty free time! And always keep in mind
this terrible truth:
your students will grow up
and leave school and, after them,
new
teenagers will attend your classes and they
will always be young
while every school year you get a bit… more
mature and full
of sex
appeal!!!

Love from your evergreen
Hazel
Read the sequel of "How to
manage stress"!
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What a handsome wizard!!!
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